The stories I could tell

Thank heavens for bullet points.

- The people who owned this house before us lived here for 15 years. I think it was last cleaned just before they moved in.
- The oven was so disgusting we had to throw it out.
- Both toilets need to be replaced. Fortunately the worst one was near a sink, which was handy for throwing up in when I tried to clean it.
- They built the kitchen around the fridge. I kid you not. The fridge was so stinky we bought a new one of those too, except as I found out yesterday when the new one was delivered, the kitchen went up around the fridge and it has to be dismantled to be removed. So I now have a new fridge in my lounge and the old one still sitting in its cavity waiting to be dismantled.
- They took all the sink plugs.
- All of them.
I kid you not.
- They also took the light fitting from the master bedroom.
- I emptied the vacuum 3 times doing the master bedroom. The master bedroom isn’t that big. I emptied it twice doing the bedroom opposite, and that’s only a little over a door width wider than a queen sized bed. Thank heavens there are only 2 carpeted areas in the house.
- I scrubbed the stairs old schools (on hands and knees with a scrubbing brush) and I’ve never seen water turn that colour before.
- I also slid down them shortly afterwards because I scrubbed off all the filth/grip.
- Whoops.
- Cuinn absolutely loves the hideously over-grown garden. He also loves that he can throw something into the greenery in front of the deck and it disappears from view. There’s now a lot of stuff in the greenery in front of the deck.
- The inside walls of the house need to be yellow.
- I really want a Persian rug, or something like it for the lounge. We were going to carpet, but have decided to go for a rug instead.
- Persian rugs, or anything like them are REALLY expensive.
- Poo.
- I still want one.
- This house loves clutter. That’s going to take some getting used to.
- The weather has been absolutely beautiful since we arrived.
- All the fuses in the house come to a single point. Thank heavens said point has a circuit breaker.
- There is no washing line.
- You can’t run the dryer if anything else in the house is on, or it blows the fuses for the entire house.
- I don’t like the way the circuit board crackles.
- A rewire is not going to wait.
- The previous owners say they are going to get all their crap out of the garage on Saturday. I don’t believe them, so I’ve ordered a skip for Sunday.
- Just joking.
- Sort of.
- I was told that putting vanilla essence in a dish and placing it in a room helps to absorb smell, so I tried it. It works fantastically, and this house smelled really bad.
- If you use the vanilla trick, don’t try sniffing the vanilla to see how well it worked.
- I can’t find our electric jug, all my baking trays or a particular saucer, and I’ve unpacked all the kitchen stuff.
- That’s not good.
- I’ll post pictures once a box pick-up has been done by the movers because at the moment, all you can see is boxes (and the new fridge in the middle of the lounge) so there’s no point.
- Caffeind in Petone does excellent coffee.
- I ripped my favourite jeans yesterday.
- The previous owner provided me with measurements to get curtains for the upstairs bedrooms because the house came with no curtains at all, just some knackered wooden blinds.
- She buggered up the measurements for one room.
- I had very expensive curtains shortened too short. Like, 15 cm odd off the ground.
- Am spectacularly furious.
- Unless curtains are deliberately short (fall below the windowsill), they look stupid.
- My pear curtains travelled with me from Auckland and now frame the French doors. They look awesome. Home is where the pear curtains are. As soon as they went up, Al and I started to feel better.
- Cuinn’s room is the sunniest in the house, looks awesome (apart from being painted pink, walls and ceiling), and is really cosy. He loves it.
- I need a draught excluder for his door because it finishes about 3cm off the ground.
- I’ve found the perfect one.
- It's expensive.
- Even in pounds.
- Al and I are homesick, but these things take time. We do like it here, we just miss our friends and workmates and workplaces.
- The husband loves his new job – apparently there’s a coffee machine in the smoko room and that’s all that matters.
- There’s no dishwasher, and no room for one.
- I kind of like it.
- At this stage.
- There’s a wicked Chinese takeaway up the road. Uber wicked. Best Chinese takeaway I’ve ever had. Fried rice isn’t oily and vegetables are perfectly cooked. Most impressed.
- I've had Chinese takeaways twice this week.
- I also want a door stop to match the draught excluder.
- The credit card is willing, but the husband will squeak.
- We really miss our dogs and our cat, but by the time they arrive on Friday night, the house will be set up and our influence will be stronger than the last owners’ and hopefully their stress will be less.
- I’ve only heard one car travel fast past our house since we arrived.
- There’s a wood pigeon that hangs out in a tree above our driveway.
- Cuinn looooves it.
- Parking a car under where a wood pigeon hangs out is not a good idea.
- The cat door is entirely metal.
- There’s a big rottie next door that the dogs are going to spend much time talking to I imagine.
- There is no TV aerial. Or there is, but it’s knackered.
- Either way, we have bunny-ears in our lounge so we can get kidzone.
- The telephone line had been taken down.
- There are telephone jacks absolutely everywhere.
- They’re really ugly.
- I have no idea how they talked to anyone on the phone with no telephone line.
- I’m going to start repeating myself if I keep going.