Hope and despair

Of late, every ounce of hope in me has been split evenly in two directions.

Friends who will remain nameless - Today they find out if their first IVF cycle has been successful. At some stage today, they will sit down together and open an envelope which will contain the results of their pregnancy test. With every fibre of my being, I hope that that result is positive. This couple are amazing. They have so much want, so much love, and they deserve more than anything in the world after their long and heartbreaking journey, to be saying hello to their baby at the end of the year, and to be a family for Christmas. They are going to be the most fabulous parents, and their children are going to be beyond lucky. I know that it's science, and that their path cannot be altered now, but it's not going to stop me sending prayers up every which way for them today. Do the same, would you?


Tertia - I have talked of Tertia before, I have told you about her book, and I have a link to her blog on mine. After everything she has been through, last week, the same day in fact that I saw my specialist and he told me to have hope, Tertia found out she was pregnant. Naturally. It was an absolute miracle. A woman who went through fertility treatment after fertility treatment, who endured nine IVF cycles before her twins Adam and Kate her born, who fought and fought and fought, who never gave up hope, who lost 3 babies before that, who has suffered immensely but who has somehow made it through, a woman who is downright amazing, found out that she had become pregnant naturally. Imagine how she felt. I cried when I saw the post, and I don't cry a lot. I barely ever even cry for myself.

This morning, I logged onto her blog to see how her scan went yesterday ...to find out that her baby has died.

No one should have to go through that. It's cruel and twisted and sick. There are not enough words to say what else I think it is. How can there be words? I've followed this woman's life for years, and I feel like she's a friend. It's heartbreaking that her heart is broken, and I am beyond angry on her behalf.