Dean and me

I have negative time available for any kind of project just now, and probably forever, which really makes this the perfect time to take one on, don't you think?

A while ago, and well after the rest of the world, I watched Julie & Julia on TV.  It's the sort of movie that makes you think that buying the book might, just this once, be a good idea. It wasn't, just like it never, ever is, but I enjoyed it that much.  The idea, if you discount the cooking, which I hate, and the eating of horrifying things, which I also hate, has appeal. From a never-doing-that-myself-but-yay-for-you-high-five perspective.  That's about the sum total of my dwelling on the idea at the time though.

Then a few days ago, while I was looking for a particular chocolate cake recipe online (I have the book, I was just being lazy about copy-typing it out), I came across a blog that was doing a similar thing with a Natalie Oldfield book.  I think.  I didn't actually read the blog, but what I saw gave me the impression that's what the blogger was doing.  Interestingly, her cake looked nothing like mine do when I make it, which means one of us is probably doing something weird.

Anyway, whatever - that re-surfaced idea stayed with me, kicking around in the back of my mind on and off all day for a few days, giving me a poke every now and again, because the blog was about baking.  I love baking.  You know this. Everybody knows this.  But I'm not that good at it.  Not really.  I realised this while watching the last season of Hottest Home Baker, and it hurt a bit. OK, fine, a lot. I was wounded.  But, I have to be honest - I don't do bread.  I've never done a cheesecake.  I have no idea about pastry, or jam, and I only made sugar cookies for the first time the  other day, and if you put me on that set I'd be fried faster than something that fries really fast. Like fries, even. Heh.

And, everything I turn out of the oven at the beach house turns to crap.  That oven has something against me.  Sometimes, I swear it's deliberately screwing with me.  I burned the ass of a gingerbread loaf a couple of weeks ago.  No one burns the ass of a gingerbread loaf.  You burn the TOP of gingerbread.  Honestly.  And now post-Hottest Home Baker I find myself looking at texture and how close something is to what it should be and whether my muffins are awesome, which they most certainly are not, and all manner of other things technical and damn if I don't want to be able to turn a raspberry bun out of the oven because I want one.

What's more (is that better than 'furthermore'? because I had a furthermore there, but I felt like I should be drafting a document on the back of it - not good ... especially when I'm blogging while I *should* to be drafting a document), I found myself watching Hottest Home Baker to watch Dean Brettschneider, and I was watching him because I wanted to see how he reacted to what the contestants were doing, what they were turning out, what he thought about what they turned out.  His face says a lot, and you can see that it's because he loves his craft - he wants them to do it well. My interest in the competition was secondary. 

So, I thought about the programme, and I thought about the blog, and I thought about having a project, and about not having the time and being too stressed and stretched and unable to have a project, and I went for a walk on the beach and I came home and I ordered Global Baker by Dean Brettschneider, and I'm going to bake my way through it.  From start to finish.  Probably not in that order.  And heaven knows how long it'll take me, but I'm going to learn, and I'm going to love it.  I could've done another book, sure, especially one that I've done more (anything) from, but you know what? I wanted to work hard to show someone that they inspired me, even if they never know and I wanted to feel like I didn't want to let them down, all the while learning and doing and enjoying. It'll keep me going when I want to hang myself by my own pinny.

And you know why else?  Because life got too serious there for a while.  This is going to be AWESOME!

(And I missed writing.  You have no idea how much I missed writing.  I need to write, and I needed something to write about.  Plus, baking has always been my de-stress thing, but it's been getting less and less and less of my time and love.  Ergo, you can listen to all my swearing about burnt asses on baking. Thanks for that in advance, by the way)

(Also, if someone, or multiple someones could please list on Trademe all the baking equipment I'm going to need that I don't have so I don't go bankrupt, that'd be much appreciated)