I walked in, ordered my large flat white to go (stupid idea, No.9 apparently only likes small flat whites ... but I did need it after the shopping, if only to give myself heart palpatations over something other than the shopping bill), sat down to wait in a dingy corner (I love dingy corners in cafes - bearing in mind we're talking dingy cafe's in Ponsonby, so they're fashionably dingy as opposed to actual proper come armed dingy), looked up and saw the best sign ever above the counter - hand made, with much care and attention:
Unsupervised Children Will Be Sold For Medical Experiments.
Definitely a place to drop No.9 off to later when he/she is being a little shite.
6 comments:
can u plz give me the cafe address? i might need it this week.
amelia is practising 'biting' when feeding. looks straight at me, shakes her head, makes the 'no' sound (while mouth still attached), then bites - HARD, then goes off into gales of giggles, shaking her head again.
troll of magnificent evil.
BTW, did the lollies do the trick in the movie - as was the movie ok?
Argh! My nipples just shrivelled up in horror. (although it's possible that that's a genetic pre-disposition she gets from a certain aunty - I'm constantly biting the husband for the sheer fun of seeing him yell (particularly fun is biting him on the side when he's trying to shave. 7 years married and he ALMOST survives without cutting his throat) and then spending the next half hour snorting with mirth while he scowls at me. Poor husband)
Movie was gooood! Good enough that I held on for 2 and a half hours without peeing. That's pretty damn good. Lollies were almost as stupid an idea as the large flat white - I enjoyed lollies for the first half hour, and spent the remaining 2 hours doing frantic calculations as to whether my popcorn box could hold a lolly puke if I got desperate. Thankfully, said popcorn box wasn't required afterall. Second trimester willpower baby. It probably would have been more appropriate to lose the lollies and keep the steak I had for dinner post-movie, but life is all about choices.
I have posted a wee gift for your wee troll to GrannIE and Pop's house. Both items in said gift will require some time before she gets the full benefit of them, but one she can throw at A in the meantime, and the other, although GrannIE was perfectly horrified that I bought it, I am satisfied, after reading your comment, that it will suit nicely in time to come.
hmmmmm, note to selves (there are a few of me post-amelia's birth), auntie simonne's house is an optional residence for amelia when puberty hits . . . and we can blame her for the biting. excellent.
oh, things to throw - kahloo kahlay - she has just figured out that thomas is EATING when he stands under her chair head down - we had hoped that she wouldn't click because she can't see his mouth or face, but no. so, she now throws her food at him, i mean to him, while shouting her version of 'thomas' very loudly (sounds kinda like droaandt, or uuuuggggh). she has a good aim. her aim is equally as good with the mouthfuls of water, yoghurt, porridge and pureed veges she blasts andrew with while giggling wetly. he has resorted to wearing a teatowel for protection, and is drinking far more whiskey than previously.
then there was our dvd recrding experience. went out, left dvd recording fave programme (Love My Way - warning, emotive content!), came home, watched AB's kick Wallaby butt, put troll into solitary lock-down, I mean cot, and settled down to watch our programme. saw 2 mins before another programme took the place of first, whipped back to original programme, which then went into mute mode, and then rollercoasted between a range of other programmes (still muted) before coming neatly to rest on the Foxtel menu for the remaining two and a half hours. note to selves, don't let evillest one touch bloody remote when recording on DVD player . . . but, there is one good thing, we don't blame you for that dexterity.
we blame timothy and alexander. we are upping our insurance cover for house, contents and car.
I was going to say ... dexterity?? Must be a Lunn thing. She doesn't get the good aim thing from me either.
*Sigh* re the food - unfortunately we've got bugger all chance of our kid not twigging to the doggies-love-left-overs-and-even-things-that-aren't-leftovers thing. Jack does an excellent "Please Sir ... Can I have some more?" whilst drooling a steady stream, and Jess just lies down, puts her head on her paws and watches. Intently. Whilst using the force. Technically this is our fault - there once was an incident when we were sitting on the couch eating dinner and an entire eye fillet steak went flying off my plate (we've covered the dexterity thing), straight into a dogs mouth. They have looong memories.
Thankfully, we won't be having any remote issues. Jess buried ours in the backyard. Somewhere. About 2 years ago. Along with half my underwear. I don't think we'll be immune to sandwiches in the DVD player though when the time comes ...
oh dear.
thomas has been trained to 'go to bed'(aka hide under something) when amelia has her nose in the trough. he is allowed to graze only when we call 'clean up on aisle 9' at which signal he rushes out and cleans up all and sundry including the new and tropical tastes of orange, lady-finger banana and spat-out papaya :)
unfortunately troll child cottoned on anyway, as we were actively concealing his talents from her, not letting her see his busy little nose in practice.
has jack got our tv remote BTW? it has been missing for a week, and we have been blaming amelia as last person seen with it. a kind of mini dexter. or a trainee safe-cracker. perhaps she will demolish houses so as to clear sections for uncle alex. it may have found its way into the bright orange swing-top rubbish bin that makes a fascinating noise when whopped with a closed fist without us noticing.
damn.
You know, I'm horrified, I really am, and not a little frightened. But I can't wait for No.9 to turn our lives upside down and inside out. And I'll be eternally grateful if he/she loses the xbox remote.
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