I say bring back the 'eye for an eye' thing - literally - do to the abusers exactly what has been done to the kids. i know that's irrational, but then so is the rage I feel when I read some of the horror stories.
Or sterilise them. Or, my favourite - lease our judicial system out to Singapore. It'll cost less and I imagine reoffending would take a dive - and some people might think twice before doing the things they do!
11 weeks and 1 day Ruthie! I can't decide whether it's going at lightening speed or reeeeeeally slowly. It depends on how grumpy my body is on any given day I guess :-)
oh brilliant idea. people get life imprisonment with a million lashes for teeny weeny things there.
wow, that has gone kinda quick. amelia will be one in a coupla months, and i am still in a daze. breastfeeding makes the daze even more surreal, frkn hormones! but you are well into wild hormone territory aren't you? its like a film trilogy: 1. Premenstruality: when good women go bad; 2. Assisted Pregnancy: When bad women go mad; 3. Breastfeeding: Attack of the "DOH" creature.
Then there is the ectoplasmic body, where you know its yours, but you keep getting a fright when you catch a glimpse of it in the mirror, without adequate mental preparation . . .
one giggle from the swamp beast and all is forgiven though . . .
you are nearly outa the woods tho, 12 weeks seems to be a magic cut off point, when your skin start to glow and your nails and hair are AWESOME.
I don't have time to rant... but basically it is that repeal of s.59 is good. Changing the norm of physical discipline is the long term aim. People who abuse not having an out is the short term aim.
Just didn't appreciate sarcasm about the importance of repealing s.59 ;)
Nikki - You're right and the sarcasm was bad. Can I blame hormones? Please? I was feeling a bit heartbroken and furious that despite the law, things don't seem to be changing. It's not that it's a bad thing - I agree, it is good that the vehicle for wiggling out of trouble has been taken away. But it seems a bit of a toothless tiger at this point. Then again, the people who do this are gorillas law or no law, it probably wouldn't make a difference. That's the truly horrendous thing.
Andy - you're right they are two different things. I wonder if it being called the 'Anti-smacking Law' is distorting what people understand it to be? For me, it makes me furious that kids are being hurt, and terrified that I may discipline my child out of love and end up on the wrong side of the law. (Oh, and Hello! I don't think you've posted before!)
Ruthie - Apparently I am glowing ... although that could have been me just sweating trying not to bolt to the bathroom at a restaurant on Saturday night and barf. It just didn't seem like a very social thing to do.
I get the body thing already - I tried on a couple of dresses today for a wedding I'm going to in October, and every time a coconut I'd turn around and there'd be a new lump. Argh. If my boobs would grow I'd feel much better, but they're stubbornly not. I think all the growing is going on in the stomach department. *Sigh*
Pfft, no need to be pedantic . . . I mean, tomato, tom aaaar to, glowing, barfing . . . whats the dif?
somehow being pregnant, or having had the blessed bundle makes seeing or hearing about brutality or neglect of kids so much more painful and poignant. you look at that little package of pure innocence and guile, gazing trustingly at its daddy or mommy, and know that every kid is born that precious, but that's not how they are treated.
and the bone deep fear and sick-to-the-stomach feeling that went through both Al and I when we thought we'd lost No.9 a few weeks ago. I can only imagine that the love you feel for your child grows too and it's impossible to reconcile.
I think I am going to stop even looking at headlines in the paper - I see there is a stepfather to be charged in relation to the death of a 7 year old this morning.
I think I need a happy No. 9 is growing like a weed post for today.
Sorry to ramble on about this but just had to point something else out:
I wonder if it being called the 'Anti-smacking Law' is distorting what people understand it to be?
It ain't called the Anti-Smacking law and that's the problem. You are exactly right that it is being distorted... and distorted by the people who want to be able to smack their kids. I'm sorry but I'm not into physical discipline. Especially the amount of time over the last few years that I have had to devote to educating Hannah on being gentle to people and that smacking her friends ain't a way of ensuring their support. It just seems terribly hypocritical. So no, I'm not sad that my 'right to smack my child' is not explicit in the law. Because I don't believe I have that right. But I do believe that Hannah has the right to go through her childhood knowing that her mother isn't going to purposely hurt her - I would like to ensure that right for every child in New Zealand but unfortunately, despite any law, it ain't gonna happen.
The problem is much much deeper and unfortunately is a cyclical and generational thing. Which is why changing the norm of disciplining children needs to change in general society. And if that means that John Smith (who isn't an abuser) needs to find a different way of ensuring that his child is relatively well behaved then oh freaking dear.
Egads. That turned out to be much more of a rant than I intended ;) But now you know my view :D
It's not a rant, it's a discussion :-) And it certainly doesn't hurt me to muse about the view and principals of someone who is a parent (to a devil child or no ;-) ) when I'm becoming a parent. Greater experience and all that.
When I said that it's called the anti smacking law, I meant in the ... colloquial? ... sense. As in, that's what everybody calls it, that's what a lot of people see it to be in its entirety. Does that make sense? That's where misinterpretation and confusion comes from. Personally I'd be more than happy to see these parents popping up in the news swing in the wind.
As for smacking, or not, I've been practising on the dogs. They only get a boot up the bum if they're VERY naughty (as in Jess snapped at my face the other day when something wasn't going her way ... although her bum is so padded with fur I think it was the growling from Al that sent her off in the other direction) and even then a good growling seems to do the trick.
I've missed something re John Smith/Andy Moore haven't I? Do explain!
Ooooo ... Google really is a marvellous tool. Turns out Andy likely isn't interested in No. 9 and my shopping exploits. Sad. Because that's 99.9% of the time what this here bloggy is all about.
Haha I meant John Smith as in 'any body' but really I meant Andy Moore might have to adjust his parenting techniques.
But then I looked at his profile and it seems he is a 21 year old Christian male with (assumedly) no children. I love that the people that lead this charge mostly fit that demographic.
And don't worry S, I wasn't hassling you about calling it the 'Anti-Smacking Law' but just frustrated that the name has stuck with the general public. Unfortunately it is a lot more catchy than 'the repeal of s.59 of the Crimes Act' ;)
So really my rant wasn't directed at you at all... that Andy bloke needs to get a new cause.
I didn't take it that way Nikki m'dear - the thing with getting ones knickers in a bunch is that it's damned uncomfy. I try to avoid it at all costs.
It's called the Anti-smacking law in the ... colloquial? ... sense and so Joe Bloggs, or John Smith ;-) down the street lose everything out of it except the not being able to smack bit. I get your frustration because it's ... distorted public understanding I guess you'd stay. I think. Is that what I mean? It's 8.15pm. I should have been in bed three quarters of an hour ago ... blimmin kiddly.
17 comments:
Simonne! Don't make me go all ranty on you about the repeal of s.59! o_O
Definitely go ranty! I've had my head under a rock (or more down a toilet actually, but you get the drift) for the last 3 months - what have I missed?
I say bring back the 'eye for an eye' thing - literally - do to the abusers exactly what has been done to the kids. i know that's irrational, but then so is the rage I feel when I read some of the horror stories.
hey are you 12 weeks yet??? must be pretty darn close!
Or sterilise them. Or, my favourite - lease our judicial system out to Singapore. It'll cost less and I imagine reoffending would take a dive - and some people might think twice before doing the things they do!
11 weeks and 1 day Ruthie! I can't decide whether it's going at lightening speed or reeeeeeally slowly. It depends on how grumpy my body is on any given day I guess :-)
oh brilliant idea. people get life imprisonment with a million lashes for teeny weeny things there.
wow, that has gone kinda quick. amelia will be one in a coupla months, and i am still in a daze. breastfeeding makes the daze even more surreal, frkn hormones! but you are well into wild hormone territory aren't you? its like a film trilogy: 1. Premenstruality: when good women go bad; 2. Assisted Pregnancy: When bad women go mad; 3. Breastfeeding: Attack of the "DOH" creature.
Then there is the ectoplasmic body, where you know its yours, but you keep getting a fright when you catch a glimpse of it in the mirror, without adequate mental preparation . . .
one giggle from the swamp beast and all is forgiven though . . .
you are nearly outa the woods tho, 12 weeks seems to be a magic cut off point, when your skin start to glow and your nails and hair are AWESOME.
I don't have time to rant... but basically it is that repeal of s.59 is good. Changing the norm of physical discipline is the long term aim. People who abuse not having an out is the short term aim.
Just didn't appreciate sarcasm about the importance of repealing s.59 ;)
You're dead right Simonne, it makes me very sad, sick each time I hear over the radio of some helpless young child who has been murdered.
Strangely enough, Sue Bradford's Anti-Smacking Law hasn't stopped the child abuse.
Perhaps that's because a smack and child abuse are two different things entirely.
Nikki - You're right and the sarcasm was bad. Can I blame hormones? Please? I was feeling a bit heartbroken and furious that despite the law, things don't seem to be changing. It's not that it's a bad thing - I agree, it is good that the vehicle for wiggling out of trouble has been taken away. But it seems a bit of a toothless tiger at this point. Then again, the people who do this are gorillas law or no law, it probably wouldn't make a difference. That's the truly horrendous thing.
Andy - you're right they are two different things. I wonder if it being called the 'Anti-smacking Law' is distorting what people understand it to be? For me, it makes me furious that kids are being hurt, and terrified that I may discipline my child out of love and end up on the wrong side of the law. (Oh, and Hello! I don't think you've posted before!)
Ruthie - Apparently I am glowing ... although that could have been me just sweating trying not to bolt to the bathroom at a restaurant on Saturday night and barf. It just didn't seem like a very social thing to do.
I get the body thing already - I tried on a couple of dresses today for a wedding I'm going to in October, and every time a coconut I'd turn around and there'd be a new lump. Argh. If my boobs would grow I'd feel much better, but they're stubbornly not. I think all the growing is going on in the stomach department. *Sigh*
Pfft, no need to be pedantic . . . I mean, tomato, tom aaaar to, glowing, barfing . . . whats the dif?
somehow being pregnant, or having had the blessed bundle makes seeing or hearing about brutality or neglect of kids so much more painful and poignant. you look at that little package of pure innocence and guile, gazing trustingly at its daddy or mommy, and know that every kid is born that precious, but that's not how they are treated.
and the bone deep fear and sick-to-the-stomach feeling that went through both Al and I when we thought we'd lost No.9 a few weeks ago. I can only imagine that the love you feel for your child grows too and it's impossible to reconcile.
I think I am going to stop even looking at headlines in the paper - I see there is a stepfather to be charged in relation to the death of a 7 year old this morning.
I think I need a happy No. 9 is growing like a weed post for today.
Sorry to ramble on about this but just had to point something else out:
I wonder if it being called the 'Anti-smacking Law' is distorting what people understand it to be?
It ain't called the Anti-Smacking law and that's the problem. You are exactly right that it is being distorted... and distorted by the people who want to be able to smack their kids. I'm sorry but I'm not into physical discipline. Especially the amount of time over the last few years that I have had to devote to educating Hannah on being gentle to people and that smacking her friends ain't a way of ensuring their support. It just seems terribly hypocritical. So no, I'm not sad that my 'right to smack my child' is not explicit in the law. Because I don't believe I have that right. But I do believe that Hannah has the right to go through her childhood knowing that her mother isn't going to purposely hurt her - I would like to ensure that right for every child in New Zealand but unfortunately, despite any law, it ain't gonna happen.
The problem is much much deeper and unfortunately is a cyclical and generational thing. Which is why changing the norm of disciplining children needs to change in general society. And if that means that John Smith (who isn't an abuser) needs to find a different way of ensuring that his child is relatively well behaved then oh freaking dear.
Egads. That turned out to be much more of a rant than I intended ;) But now you know my view :D
P.S. John Smith/Andy Moore... same thing ;)
It's not a rant, it's a discussion :-) And it certainly doesn't hurt me to muse about the view and principals of someone who is a parent (to a devil child or no ;-) ) when I'm becoming a parent. Greater experience and all that.
When I said that it's called the anti smacking law, I meant in the ... colloquial? ... sense. As in, that's what everybody calls it, that's what a lot of people see it to be in its entirety. Does that make sense? That's where misinterpretation and confusion comes from. Personally I'd be more than happy to see these parents popping up in the news swing in the wind.
As for smacking, or not, I've been practising on the dogs. They only get a boot up the bum if they're VERY naughty (as in Jess snapped at my face the other day when something wasn't going her way ... although her bum is so padded with fur I think it was the growling from Al that sent her off in the other direction) and even then a good growling seems to do the trick.
I've missed something re John Smith/Andy Moore haven't I? Do explain!
Ooooo ... Google really is a marvellous tool. Turns out Andy likely isn't interested in No. 9 and my shopping exploits. Sad. Because that's 99.9% of the time what this here bloggy is all about.
Haha I meant John Smith as in 'any body' but really I meant Andy Moore might have to adjust his parenting techniques.
But then I looked at his profile and it seems he is a 21 year old Christian male with (assumedly) no children. I love that the people that lead this charge mostly fit that demographic.
And don't worry S, I wasn't hassling you about calling it the 'Anti-Smacking Law' but just frustrated that the name has stuck with the general public. Unfortunately it is a lot more catchy than 'the repeal of s.59 of the Crimes Act' ;)
So really my rant wasn't directed at you at all... that Andy bloke needs to get a new cause.
I didn't take it that way Nikki m'dear - the thing with getting ones knickers in a bunch is that it's damned uncomfy. I try to avoid it at all costs.
It's called the Anti-smacking law in the ... colloquial? ... sense and so Joe Bloggs, or John Smith ;-) down the street lose everything out of it except the not being able to smack bit. I get your frustration because it's ... distorted public understanding I guess you'd stay. I think. Is that what I mean? It's 8.15pm. I should have been in bed three quarters of an hour ago ... blimmin kiddly.
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