The Talk

I realised a few weeks ago, that Al and I, heading into IVF and all that it means and implies, hadn't had The Talk.

As in, how far are we willing to take this? What are we prepared to go through? What if it doesn't work? etc etc


The reality of our situation is that modern science means that we have a chance that we otherwise wouldn't have, but it is still only a chance. It's by no means a sure thing, and it's not going to be a walk in the park. We could go through all of this, and still not have a child. So, how far do we go? When do we say enough?

It's a hard thing to talk about, firstly because the thought that we could go through all of this and still be childless is difficult ... I said to him that I just can't not have a child (funny how once upon a time, I wanted 2 children. Now, just one would be a miracle I'd be content with). He said to me that it may just have to be that way.

The pivotal thing though, with The Talk, is that neither of us knows how we're going to cope when it comes down to it, so although we've broached it, we can't really make a call either way. The physical side of IVF may be fine, but the emotional side may be overwhelming, or, emotionally, it could be a walk in the park, but physically, it might be horrendous. I might be fine with it all, Al may not, or the other way around. There's no way to anticipate how it will play out until we're living it.

So, we pretty much agreed that we'd let this thing take us where it will until one or other of us can't carry on, and keep in our minds that if either of us says enough, I'm young enough that we can take a break for a few years and see if we're ready to give it another go.


And, in the meantime, I feel like I'm living life for myself without burden for the first time in a long time, and it's really, really nice.