When your filthy mind tells you how the sentence will end ...

This comes from working with a bunch of blokes in the building industry ...


The husband walked into where I was working on the laptop last night saying "I'm just going to whack off a couple more ..." and that was me.

Apparently the sentence was supposed to end " ...slices of beer bread so you can take the rest into work tomorrow" but I was already in hysterics and that was the end of that.

Yes, I am a filthy, infantile wife, but fair's fair, this is on the back of a conversation that nearly caused me to crash the car yesterday afternoon. We were driving home from having coffee out and the husband was busy examining his hands and explaining to me that his right hand was like leather, he'd built up so many callouses. I was already choking to death when he realised what he'd said and continued to explain that this was from tossing wood all the time.

Ok, ok, he actually said 'tossing sticks for the dogs at the park all the time' but by that stage my mind was firmly lodged in the gutter, and I decided I preferred my version, and damn near swerved into an oncoming car. Very funny stuff.